


wish

by SchrodingersHalfling



Series: (wherever it goes) i'm all in [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Episode: s02e20 Beside Still Water, The Wish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:34:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29729103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SchrodingersHalfling/pseuds/SchrodingersHalfling
Summary: Alec and Jace go to Lake Lyn.Jace still dies and Valentine still summons the Angel.Alec uses The Wish.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland
Series: (wherever it goes) i'm all in [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2184987
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	wish

They make it past Malachi’s camp in silence and continue on slowly for several minutes before breaking out into a run again.

Between Alec’s unease with the Consul after his recent interactions with the man and Jace’s rationing that he might not believe them about Valentine escaping New York with the help of the Seelie Queen, it had been a simple decision to not even bother trying to explain the situation.

After what felt like an eternity, the dense, ancient trees in the depths of the Brocelind Forest started thinning out; the trees around them becoming smaller and younger until just beyond them Alec and Jace were able to finally catch sight of Lake Lyn.

Cautiously they leave the cover of the forest and make their way down to the empty shore of the lake.

Neither of them bothers voicing the thought that they might have come too late; if Valentine had managed to raise the Angel, they would know.

Alec turns enough to glance at Jace, there is nothing for them to do now but wait for Valentine to show. There’s no telling where or when Valentine will appear, the only thing they can do is pray it not on the far edges of the Lake, they’d never be able to get there in time.

Pain erupts in his back as he turns to check the Lake again and Alec looks down, fully expecting to see the blood covered tip of a sword poking through his chest.

But there’s nothing.

The sound of Jace gurgling behind him has Alec spinning around only to see that Jace is on his knees with Valentine behind him.

_Oh_ , he wasn’t the one that was stabbed.

Alec lunges forward before he’s even conscious of making the decision, sword in his hand as he leaps past Jace at Valentine. But Alec is lost in himself and the agony of having his soul torn apart.

He’d thought losing Magnus had hurt, but it’s nothing compared to this. For over a decade Alec has been but one half of himself, and to lose the part of himself he loved most, the part he was most proud off; all that’s left is pain and emptiness.

On the surface and to anyone that wasn’t them or Izzy, Jace had needed Alec more. He’d come to the Lightwoods broken and abused and in Alec he’d found safety and permanence, a home. But Alec had always needed Jace just as much. He’d needed Jace’s strength to keep going every day when the darkness inevitably crept in. He’d needed Jace to draw him out of himself when he fell too far in his own mind.

He’d needed Jace to love him as he was, because the Angel knows Alec couldn’t.

It’s all too easy for Valentine to get the upper hand on him and he does so with a vicious snarl.

They both know he hadn’t been aiming for Jace.

* * *

When he wakes up the sun is far lower than before, hovering over the tips of the trees in the distance.

Jace is lying just inches away, his beautiful eyes as distant and lifeless as Alec feels. For the first time since he was sixteen Alec is alone in his head. When they’d first become _parabatai_ it had been intense; for months they’d lived in each other’s head, unable to separate one from the other because they couldn’t figure out who was feeling what. Even once they’d learnt to control the bond and themselves it had been impossible to think of a time when it would become normal to have Jace there permanently, even if just in the back of his mind. Now it feels terrifying to know that Jace will never occupy a part of his brain again.

That Jace will never again be the extra beat to his heart.

It’s only the thought of Magnus that forces Alec to move.

Magnus. Who’d been the only one to get Alec to do what even Jace couldn’t.

Even with Magnus furious at him, the warlock never likely to forgive him, it’s him that has Alec fighting.

He couldn’t save Jace, maybe he can save Magnus, even if he’ll never have him again. It’ll be worth it just to know that he’s alive somewhere.

It takes far too long for Alec to work his way out of the bonds that Valentine has tied him up in. And by the time Alec has worked himself free Valentine is uttering the last few words, the Mortal Cup and Soul Sword in a hand each as he stands knee deep in the waters of Lake Lyn.

Pulling Jace’s dagger from the holster strapped to his calf, Alec lunges up and towards Valentine, throwing the dagger as Valentine falls silent.

Light explodes over the Lake but Alec ignores it in favour of dragging himself to his feet and throwing himself at Valentine again. They fall into the water, Alec on top of Valentine who has twisted around, Jace’s dagger still lodged in his shoulder.

Alec brings up a knee as Valentine swings at him with the Mortal Cup and they splash through the shallows of the lake, rolling and grappling.

The Cup falls away and Valentine gets the better of Alec, shoving his head under the water until is forced to breathe in water. His fingers freeze and it has nothing to do with the icy water because Valentine disappears from over Alec and Jace appears instead.

For a moment Alec almost gives in, but he still so alone in his head and heart and even with Jace right in front of his eyes, Alec knows it isn’t true and he fights back against the image of his soul.

But in his moment of hesitation not-Jace gets an arm on Alec’s neck and presses down, with his other hand he manages to slide a blade into Alec’s chest, the blade slipping through his chest and between his ribs like he’s made of soft butter.

But this time Alec isn’t just fighting for himself. For Jace. _To hurt the person who took Jace from him_.

He’s also fighting for Magnus.

For Magnus and Madzie and Luke and Catarina and Meliorn and Raphael. For Maia and Bat and Lewis and Elliot and every single other Downworlder who did nothing wrong but get born a little differently. Or who got turned because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

But mostly for Magnus, who saw something worth loving in Alec. Who saw past his outgoing, friendly and charismatic siblings and chose _Alec_.

Who gave him chance and chance again when all Alec did was push him away.

Twisting his fingers, Alec concentrated, curling them tightly around the arrow that appeared there and jabbed it into not-Jace’s neck.

For an eternal moment they stayed locked in a stalemate, not-Jace still holding the blade in Alec and Alec _twisting_ his hand, shoving the arrowhead further into his neck until not-Jace’s face shimmered as it turned back into Valentine before slumping down on him, a dead weight in more ways than one.

Shoving, Alec managed to push Valentine off him enough so that he could lurch up, coughing and gasping as he sucked air into his deprived lungs.

Dizzy and still gasping, Alec shoves again at Valentine until the man’s body finally stop weighting him down under the water.

Getting to his knees, Alec finally sees the hilt of the Soul Sword sticking out of his chest. Wrapping a hand around the hilt, Alec takes a deep breath and grits his teeth before pulling it free in one swift, agonising movement. Using it as a cane, Alec staggers out of the water to where Jace lies on the shore.

Dropping to his knees besides Jace, Alec curls a hand around Jace’s neck, hunching over to press his forehead to Jace’s.

“ _Where thou diest, will I die_ ,” he whispers. Not sure if it is water or tears that are running off his face and onto Jace.

Alec rests his free hand over Jace’s chest, coving the gaping wound there; the suicidal part of him thinks that now they match, and is happy for it. 

“It has been a thousand years since I was last summoned to this place. Why do you summon me now, Nephilim?”

It was almost like the Silent Brothers, the way the voice seems to speak directly in his mind, but it resonated differently. With something more powerful than the Silent Brothers’ immortal knowledge, more alien. Something _more_.

“I didn’t,” Alec croaked out, raising his head off Jace’s to look up the Angel.

They were hovering over the middle of Lake Lyn, radiating light so pure that had Alec squinting.

“And yet it is you that stands before me, Alexander Gideon Lightwood,” the Angel said.

Alec couldn’t help the eyebrow that rose up. He didn’t think he could stand right now, not even if it would bring Jace back to him.

There was a booming like thunder and drums and Alec realised that the Angel was laughing at him.

“Thou who spills thy blood, thou shalt compel from me an action,” the Angel said.

The words were familiar. Every Nephilim that grew up a Shadowhunter were taught those words.

It was tempting, so very tempting to beg the Angel to give him Jace back.

But Alec knew he couldn’t.

Not only did it go against everything Alec had ever been taught, there was no way Jace would let him.

Jace was just as self-sacrificing as he was, there had been _a lot_ of reasons they were urged into becoming _parabatai _. He knew Jace’s heart as well as he did his own and Jace would never forgive himself if Alec wasted The Wish on him. Alec, Jace would forgive in an instant, he wouldn’t have to think about it. But he would carry the guilt of it for the rest of his life._  
 ___  
“It is _you_ that stands before me,” the Angel repeated. “What is it you would ask of me, my child?”  
 __  
Alec bowed his head, hiding from the light of the Angel, as he looked at Jace.  
 __  
The half of his soul he hadn’t know he was missing until he had appeared in the New York Institute all those years ago.  
 __  
It’s in Jace he finds the answer, something he’d prayed for a thousand times despite knowing it was pointless. But who knew the extent of an Angel’s power?  
 __  
Knowing he was running out of time before he lost consciousness, Alec made an only mostly impulsive decision.  
 __  
“If…” he began before coughing. Blood dripped down his chin as he started again. “If I go back, could I change things?”  
 __  
How many times had he prayed to the Angel for some way to save Jace from his father before he could destroy Jace? How many times had he wished to protect Magnus from his past?  
 __  
“You could never return,” the Angel informed him.  
 __  
Alec took that as a yes.  
 __  
“Then that is my wish.”  
 __

* * *

____  
Three bodies were removed from Lake Lyn that night.  
 __  
One was buried in the Cemetery of the Disgraced.  
 __  
The other two where honoured in true Shadowhunter’s funeral. __

**Author's Note:**

> so this is a fic i've been wanting to write for a few years now but all i've ever had of it is the basic 'Alec goes back in time somehow and things change' along with a few random 'this could happen?'  
> and then echo put up this promt on discord and the next morning i got to wake up to the most amazing riffing of things that could happen which lead to my mind imploding all over this idea i'd been on again off again been playing with, trying to make it work and then this happened :)
> 
> just fyi: it's not going to be one big massive thing [because unfortunately, that it just not something i'm physically capable of writing :(]but (hopefully and the magic writing higher powers willing) more a series of connected fics


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